Back in the day, J Frank was a champion time waster. Not just lazy – he entered actual time wasting competitions, where he won prizes for his behavior, over a span of two weeks, as monitored by a panel of time-waste judges and professionals.

This morning, I relived some of those competitions (held mostly at state fairs, rest stops, and libraries) by walking a stretch of lower Manhattan rather than take the subway, a long and nice stretch of midweek Broadway. I had no other intention than listening to my Ipod and getting to work late. A few magical things happended along the way:

I saw Corky. Really. The actor from Life Goes On. I know it was him because he works in Mrs. Parnell’s building. He looked really happy.

I made a wish.

Later, a double-decker tourbus stopped next to me while I waited for a light. Looking up, I saw a young woman, in the last, top seat, inspecting her armpit stubble. Closely.

I made another wish.

And my wishes were answered with a few things on my ipod, things such an overcrammed and unfairly ignored hard drive will reveal to you, if given the right amount of time-wasting attention.

Culled from some now forgotten blog, the Indiana band with my now current favorite name: Tremendous Fucking. You can love people who don’t care, you know?

This song —

Tremendous Fucking – Just Like Burt Fucking Reynolds

—is from their carefully titled 2004 EP How’s My Fucking? Stuff like this has been always done, but it’s good to know scuzz rock survives. Offensive rock. This song, and songs like it, make me want to hurt public memorials to things. That’s good. Or maybe I have to apologize. Tremendous Fucking brings out the 12 year old version of me. He was an influential boy. And much more fun than I am now.