Going Postal

Let’s open the mail!

Before that: J Frank apologizes to the rest of the (hotter) world for complaining about today’s heat, but the Big Apple threatens to hit 100 today, which means 125 if you’ll soon be standing on a breezeless corner near a backhoe lifting metal plates from the street. He is Off Kilter. The AC in his office is straining its 2o year-old freon, and he’s been awake since 4 am due to a nightmare someone had that involved her friend Jett, her crib, a dog, and probably the dark. Can’t blame her, though. I’m still afraid of the later.

And even before that: are Patrick McGrath and Ian McEwan the same person?

Mr. P has been happily swamped with schwag from publicists and labels, which he suspects is the normal music blog experience. I just hadn’t expected them to be onto me so quickly. Some seem to have never read this blog, of course. BMG’s (form) email wasted breath pushing Kim Kline by stating: Combining the savvy of an industry veteran, the voice of an acclaimed diva, a dynamic personality and looks to die for… meet Singer/Songwriter who gives a shit after that. I probably contracted Ebola by downloading the mp3 just now, but then I’ll do anything for a laugh on Monday morning. Of course, the song is exactly what I’d guessed it be — a double-genre-backed beast (pop/c&W) spawned from at least four songwriters and overproduced to the point that the tone, alone, has you wondering whether Kline was on American Idol. How did I know it was a form email? It stated: I believe that it would be very beneficial in Kim’s ability to take her music career “to the next level” by having her story/material featured on such sites as yours. You want it on sites like mine if her ‘next level’ is a port-o-john.

Additional material arrived from Riker-bearded youngsters with the right ideas but the wrong talent; we’ll leave them alone. They sent a msypace page. I love the egalitarian nature of myspace – please send your pages — but J Frank will never be on Myspace, so do not expect to be befriended. He violates the highest setting of their Geiger counter.

A punk outfit from FL (Little Reggies) sent J Frank a cryptic quote from one of his past lives. An especially tumultuous time in his life. You don’t wanna look in there.

And then the slighly better stuff:

Links to I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness video and mp3 shwag.

A nice, easy press release from the execellent folks at Secretly Canadian salivating over the forthcoming Magnolia Electric Co album, Fading Trees, which isn’t so offensive, but excites me slightly less than breathing air. See if you can care for their Sun Kil Moonishness:

Magnolia Electric Co – Lonsome Valley

More interesting, we caught an endearingly amateurish video from Brooklyn garage rockers Pretty Flowers, for their even more promising tune “Scheisse Movie,’ whihc means, for the German-limited, “shit movie.” Good song, wish I had an mp3 rather than a video link. Instead, we have this song, which is somewhat similar, if less beserk:

Comet Gain – Movies (from their great

And then an orchestral-washed Radiohead impression from Sebastien Tellier. This doesn’t excite me at all, yet might sound nice on a big system in a big club. It reminds me of “Fly Robin Fly,” which was better, even if it does remind me of Toughskins, Huffys, and persistent playground beatings.

Sebastien Tellier – La Ritournelle

Best things come in small packages, namely an unnamed intern at Secretly Canadian dropping off a brief and effective email about the Early Day Miners and their new platter Offshore, a spinoff from the always interesting Pink Mountaintops. This might be all atmosphere and little more, but I’m still listening.

Early Day Miners – Return of the Native

Stay cool.


7 thoughts on “Going Postal

  1. That email from Kim Kline’s PR made my head explode.Let’s find the bastards who sold our email addresses in some sort of ‘HIP HOT BLOGGERS!’ mailing list and well, give them lots of paper cuts or something.ps — Magnolia Electric Co. is quite possibly the worst band EVER. I hate them. And no, I’n not exaggerating.


  2. Ahhhh the Coney Island wank jam. I went to the first one (2001; GBV!), which was enough, made the second (2002, oh Bob Log III), made the third (2003 Dirtbombs triumphant! And !!!) failed to make the subsequent ones, and missed this year’s on purpose due to the fact that the Voice has been wal-marted by a chain with middlebrow intentions that promise to neuter its arts sections even further than already neutered; hence the overall mediocre lineup, save Art Brut, but good lord no on She Wanks Revenge or whatever birkenstock suburban jizzomngers added to the sched this year.


  3. You forget to mention the best part about the Kim Kline email: reeking with typos! Hopping mad, I sent it to a friend in the PR biz and she just shrugged and mumbled something about “summer interns.” But I hadn’t seen anything that pitiful in maybe 6 months. It goes in my collection and one of these days I’m starting an anonymous blog and posting all of them.


  4. Typos – oh you’re very right. Awful. An anon blog with press releases would be pretty funny. I might start simply cutting&pasting the worst ones. I’ve got nothing to lose, really. Makes you wonder, too, as to the real role of blogs when it coems to pr – shouldn’t they just pay us? forgo the middleman …? Shoot, I’ll promo Cat Power, even when she sucks …


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