They Can’t Be Serious

A few weeks ago I caught a Dragonforce video on headbangers’ ball; what joy. Absurdly musical, like the theme music to a Power Rangers-esque show if done by Yngwie Malmstein. You know a metal band’s retarded if everything’s played so fast, and with minimal distortion, that it sounds computer generated. Like Viking dwarves on meth. Or they’re Glenn Gould fans. Which isn’t so far-fetched.

Finally, we’ve reached post-metal. Everything Dragonforce does is completely against the cool-rules: incessant double kick drums, 7-minute operatic pop songs with three or four finger tap solos per song, bass solos, chessey keyboards, and a singer ripping pages right from Bruce Dickinson’s lyric book (“Storming the Burning Fields” or “Cry for Eternity”) with a voice to match. They do to metal what the Smiths did to 60s British top forty.

Imagine a vastly more talented Darkness, or Satanicide (great website, btw) with a less obvious satirical side. They’re Brits, so maybe Darkness pissed them off, made them think well wait, we can go even further …

Their name and the recent album name, Inhuman Rampage, should clue anyone in. I wish I still owned a car – if I was driving someone somewhere, I’d slip this on the stereo and watch them go nuts.

I kinda hope they’re not kidding. That would be even funnier.

Dragonforce – Revolution Deathsquad

Dragonforce – Through the Fire and Flames

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8 thoughts on “They Can’t Be Serious

  1. Bon Jovi … meets Slayer … meets a Broadway musical. Theoretically, I like it, because it’s really odd and annoying, but in reality, this would drive me crazy, too.

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  2. Mr. T: It drives me crazy too. Sort why I like it – if it annoys me, it’ll annoy everybody. Like the Ramones used to.You know what? I can’t believe i’m going to write this:Dragonforce is what the Bitch hears in his head. All the time. Remember that kid?Really.

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  3. sorry – been absent; the star city lab leaked some enriched and we got evacuated. But: Metal 2.0 is upon us. Post metal. Some good, until it becoems just metal again, like all post things. The end of postpunk is the beginning of Green Day, etc.

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